We were just having a couple of pints on a casual Friday night after a busy week of sorting out express T-shirt printing quotes, when someone (can’t recall who – and yes, we spent a long time trying to remember) asked the following question: “What do you think a beer by Facebook would taste like?”
I couldn’t tell you if it was the alcohol (perhaps) or the buzz of the moment but that enquiry activated our spider-marketer-senses. It took us just a few seconds to outline the main points of why we think it would be a great article. We went as far as to wonder, how would Facebook’s personality translate into a beer bottle?
Wooow… our right side of the brain wouldn’t stop generating ideas! So many questions. What would the label look like? Would it have a slogan? Alcohol level? Who would drink it? And… What would Apple’s, Nike’s or, for example, Arsenal’s look like? Fear not as we have answered all those questions brilliantly.
So, here it is. We adapted famous non-alcoholic companies into beer bottles while keeping their essence. Here we go with this beery creative version of super famous brands!
Facebrew: A beer to connect everyone
There’s no need to say more, simply clever, a beer to connect everyone… Modern but classic, blue and social. I imagine its flavour would be slightly bittersweet, very refreshing and somehow exciting. I’m sure it’s the typical beer everyone would like. A blonde, average alcohol level.
Nike: Just Drink It
A lower calorie beer, made for people who enjoy life but also look after themselves. A soft refreshing product. Being creative, I’d try to add taurine (every energy drink’s key component) or a similar energiser to make you move!
Arsenal: Go Drunnkers!
Football brands are either the most beloved or hated brands of them all. I imagine it as a brown beer, full of passion, energy and strength. Its alcoholic level would be slightly higher than the average, but nothing too crazy. A beer with history.
iBeer: Drink Differently
Simple and clean, pure beer with apple essence. Now it’s when you say: “So it’s cider”, No mate, it’s different, it’s something new, a perfect combination of beer and apple. I conceptualise it as a lighter beer, organic.
Drinksome: You Drink Awesome
Last but not least, our favourite one. The beer brewed for excellence. Refreshing, cool and natural. A blonde, made with ingredients from all over the world. Perhaps you never heard of it, but as soon as you try it, you automatically fall in love with it.
AleBnB: Drink Anywhere
If I had to choose one beer from this list, it’d be AleBnB for sure. You can find it all over the world. It never tastes the same. It’s a lightly carbonated beer, very refreshing. It has a fruity flavour, coming as Lemon AleBnB, Strawberry AleBnB, Grapefruit AleBnB, etc. A mix of cultures, environments and ingredients from all over the world.
Note: You may also be interested in ‘The Brand Colour Swap 2: What’s in a colour?.’
BrewTube: Broadcast your Beverage
This beer is especially good for watching videos or playing video games. It’s a drink to be had with friends, a social beer. It’s right at home on the desk beside a busy computer, with friends crowded around, slurping beer and finding crazy cat videos.
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BrewBerry: The most expensive beer on the market
I don’t really see men drinking it; it’s more of a posh feminine drink than a hard masculine one. Soft and healthy. It has this hidden allure that makes you be a better woman when you have it in hand. Or at least, it makes you look classier. This beer will be exclusively marketed to chic gals. Not for you if you aren’t a club member.
Durex: Let’s see where it takes us
Tastefully ambiguous, this beer is a date-maker. You know how it works, don’t you? I’d kill for one of these! No comment on the taste though.
Google: It always gives you the right answer
Made for drinking anywhere and anytime! It always gives you the answer you’re looking for. If it doesn’t, drink another. In no time at all, you’ll at least find something relevant!
GQ: Made for gentlemen
A darker beer, stronger and malty. Add whisky or something akin to make it even gentlemanly, for the acute businessman. It’s a stronger than average beer, with its own exclusive personality and a warm finish. Its strength is unique in the market.
LageredIn: A professional pilsner
This is the perfect beer for eating out with colleagues or grabbing a drink just after work. It’s a serious beer, formal, made for business people. But still fun. It’s beer, after all. A drink to optimize your networking prowess. I envision every professional event sponsored by LinkedIn, and everyone drinking LageredIn.
Note: You may also be interested in ‘Creative marketing in space: 9 slogans to promote our planets.’
Playbooze: Liven up a bachelor party, miss a wedding
This is the beer. Made for men looking for fun. Made for girls who know how to control a man (with elaborate bunny costumes). It’s an appealing amber beer with a smooth, woody aroma. Goes down easy, and you can’t get enough. Best stored under the bed, and in the fridge.
Stoutify: Green, young and motivational
Stoutify is a drink for parties. It’s not super strong, but nor is it soft. A few will get you drunk. Addictive? Very much yes. You have to be listening to music as you drink, otherwise, it isn’t same experience. Grab your Stoutify and get ready to dance!
Tinder: Your perfect match
The perfect liquid homogeny. It’s the perfect match for you and everyone, one way or another. Always swipe right. The taste is slightly strong, with a hint of tequila or Jager. This beer gets you drunk quickly, and serves as an aphrodisiac (hint: it turns your on button). Gets you drunk. Gets you laid. You never know what to expect, but when it’s good, it’s really good!
Ubeer: The perfect beer for the responsible driver
Expect an extremely low alcohol level combined with an intense scent of barley. It’s a blonde lager for sure. We’re not sure why governments keeps trying to ban it, but it’s still going! Young people like it, but its future is totally uncertain.
Victoria’s Secret: The Angel’s Choice
It’s the perfect combination of sexy and elegant. The womanliest beer, ever. It teaches people that brews aren’t exclusively for men and that they can be very stylish. A flawless beer. Excellence incarnate. Light, with low calories. Obviously, it’s advertised by some famous model(sssSS). A beer for angels, you might call it. Who said beers aren’t for ladies?
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